Ben Folds Five "Don't Change Your Plans"

She had the wrong impression.

We had been dating for a while, and I just felt like she wasn't hearing everything I was saying.  She wasn't hearing what I was saying and she wasn't reading between the lines.

We had been dating for a while, I had made it pretty clear that I liked her, but I didn't like her.  Meaning, that I didn't see some lofty future for us.  I was happy to spend time with her, but there was an expiration date on the carton, so to speak.

She was at that age, at that place in her life, in that state, where she was hearing me say these things, but deep down, thinking that it wasn't really true.  That at some point, I'd turn a corner and our relationship would take a more serious form.

I feel like I've seen loads of couples---mainly couples in their mid-20s---who play this scenario out.

I was up-front about where things were headed, but was also clear that I was happy where we were.  She seemed to be only hearing half of these lyrics.  And we rode this course, quietly, for a while.

Change was inevitable though, and, not surprisingly, coming from the outside.

She was going to have to make a career change, which meant she was going to have to make location change.  She was going to have to move to the West Coast.  She kept dropping hints that maybe I could come and we could make a go of it out in California.

I was very straightforward about my feelings---she should go and I would not be going.

Around this time the Ben Folds Five song "Don't Change Your Plans" was out.  Anytime it was on, I'd turn it up, hoping that she'd take the subliminal hint.

Don't change your plans for me
I won't move to LA
The leaves are falling back east
That's where I'm gonna stay

I think there was a part of her, right up to the end, that believed I wasn't serious, that I wanted to go, that I might just pack up and join her.

But I felt like that was just selective hearing on her part.


I pulled this song out last night, because I am filling in for Barbara on The Lunch Hour today, and I thought I'd do an Essential mvy segment on Ben Folds Five.  I hadn't listened to the track in a long time, but just seeing the title reminded me of the girl, and of how I'd play this song and sing "Don't change your plans for me, I won't move to LA."

I don't know if it's just that it has been a decade since I thought about the song, or if I was hearing the lyrics for the first time.

All I really wanna say
Is you're the reason I wanna stay
I loved you before I met you
And I met you just in time
'Cause there was nothing left

She may have been listening to only half of the lyrics, but I guess so was I.

Yes, the narrator saying that he will not go with the girl.  But half of the song is about how much he really wants to be with her.  Did I not hear that half?  Did she?

Selective hearing goes both ways sometimes.

For all the lyrics, read here.  To hear some Ben Folds Five, listen at Noon ET today at mvyradio.com



Hear the song on Youtube.